Analysis of the Sample Essay: Failure of SHARP Exploring Dramatic Rise of Sexual Harassment in Army

This essay provides a detailed examination of the rise of sexual harassment within the U.S. Army, a critical issue impacting military readiness and personnel welfare. The author moves beyond a simple description of the problem to analyze its root causes, consequences, and potential solutions. The structure is logical, beginning with an introduction that frames the issue, followed by an exploration of contributing factors, an assessment of implications, and concluding with recommendations for improvement.

Structure and Organization

The essay follows a clear, conventional academic structure. It opens with a strong introductory paragraph that establishes the gravity of the issue and outlines the essay's scope. The body paragraphs are thematically organized, dedicating distinct sections to identifying contributing factors, discussing implications, and proposing solutions. Each paragraph generally focuses on a single idea, supported by reasoning and elaboration. The transitions between paragraphs are smooth, guiding the reader through the argument. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the call for action, offering a sense of closure.

Thesis and Argument Development

The central thesis, implicitly stated, is that the dramatic rise in sexual harassment within the Army is a complex problem stemming from cultural issues, hierarchical structures, and personnel instability, with significant negative consequences that necessitate comprehensive, leadership-driven reform. The argument is developed by systematically dissecting the problem into its constituent parts: the 'why' (cultural factors, power dynamics, isolation), the 'so what' (impact on individuals, readiness, retention), and the 'what now' (leadership commitment, improved training, better reporting, diversity). The author builds a case for the interconnectedness of these elements, suggesting that isolated solutions will be insufficient.

Evidence and Support

While this sample essay is illustrative and does not cite specific sources, it demonstrates how evidence would be used. It refers to 'statistics,' 'research,' 'reports,' and 'anecdotal evidence' in a way that signals the kind of support expected in a full academic paper. The arguments are grounded in plausible reasoning, such as the link between male-dominated cultures and harassment, or the impact of fear of reprisal on reporting. In a completed essay, this section would be bolstered by citations to official military reports, academic studies on military culture and sexual assault, psychological research on trauma, and potentially case studies or journalistic investigations.

Tone and Style

The tone is serious, analytical, and concerned, appropriate for discussing a sensitive and critical issue. The language is formal yet accessible, avoiding overly academic jargon while maintaining a professional register. The author employs strong topic sentences and clear explanations, making the argument easy to follow. There is a sense of urgency conveyed without resorting to sensationalism. The use of phrases like 'deeply troubling challenge,' 'systemic failure,' and 'moral imperative' underscores the importance of the subject matter.

Revision Opportunities and Enhancements

  • Specific Data Integration: A completed essay would benefit immensely from the inclusion of specific statistics on the rise of sexual harassment, data on reporting rates, and figures related to retention or impact on readiness. Citing sources like the Department of Defense's annual reports on sexual assault and harassment would add significant weight.
  • Deeper Cultural Analysis: While the essay mentions the 'male-dominated culture,' a more in-depth exploration of specific cultural norms, rituals, or historical precedents that might contribute to or resist change could strengthen the analysis.
  • Case Studies/Examples: Incorporating brief, anonymized case studies or referencing well-documented public incidents could provide concrete illustrations of the issues discussed, making the abstract concepts more tangible.
  • Policy Specificity: The recommendations section is strong in principle but could be enhanced by referencing specific existing Army policies (like SHARP, or relevant DoD directives) and analyzing their strengths and weaknesses, or proposing modifications based on best practices from other organizations or research.
  • Counterarguments/Nuance: A more advanced essay might briefly acknowledge potential counterarguments or complexities, such as the challenges of implementing widespread cultural change or the difficulty in distinguishing between different forms of misconduct, before reinforcing the main argument.
Example of Enhanced Recommendation

Instead of a general call for 'strengthened reporting mechanisms,' a revised section might read: 'To bolster trust in reporting channels, the Army could implement a pilot program for an independent ombudsman office, separate from the chain of command, to receive and initially investigate complaints. This office would require dedicated personnel trained in trauma-informed interviewing and legal procedures, ensuring confidentiality and providing victims with a clear point of contact and support throughout the investigation process. Furthermore, leveraging secure, encrypted digital platforms for initial anonymous reporting could reduce the perceived risk for individuals hesitant to speak directly with a superior.'

Key Considerations for Students

  • Understand the Prompt: Ensure you are addressing all aspects of the assignment, including the 'dramatic rise' and the 'failure' implied in the topic.
  • Define Key Terms: Clearly define 'sexual harassment' as it applies within a military context, potentially differentiating it from sexual assault if necessary for your argument.
  • Research Thoroughly: Utilize credible sources such as government reports, academic journals, military publications, and reputable news analyses.
  • Structure Logically: Organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that develop distinct points, and a strong conclusion.
  • Maintain an Objective Tone: While the topic is sensitive, maintain an analytical and objective tone, supported by evidence.
  • Propose Actionable Solutions: Ensure your recommendations are specific, feasible, and directly address the problems you've identified.
  • Cite Properly: Adhere to the required citation style for all sources used.